I Can't See You, But I Know You're There
by Joie23
Summary: He's not a hero. He's really just a kid from Brooklyn. They're the true heroes. They're his heroes.


Steve's 17 years old when his mother passes away. The first thing he forgets about her is the taste of hers apple pie. It's his favourite dessert and no matter how many apple pies he tries, none compares with the one his mother used to make. He notices he forgets something about his mother with each passing day. Before he knows it, a year goes by. It's the anniversary of her death when he realizes he can't remember the sound of her voice. He brings flowers on her grave and he simply can't remember the sound of his mother's voice. He hears cars in the distance, he hears the comfortable rustle of the trees. But he can't hear her voice and suddenly that's the only sound he wants to hear. His mothers voice is the last memory Steve forgets about his mother.

It's also the first thing he remembers when he wakes up. It's been 70 years since he was awake, almost 80 since the last time he heard his mother's voice and still, it's the first thing he remembers the day he comes back to life. He opens his eyes, slightly confused, when he hears a soft sound. _You'll be okay, son_, someone mumbles. Only later, when everything is explained to him, (even tough nothing is yet clear), he realizes he heard her voice. He keeps replaying her words in his mind and suddenly he knows he's going to be okay. Even if it lasts only for a second because he can't torture himself with trying not to forget her voice again, (he never forgets again), he believes he's gonna make it. His mother is still here. After all this time and no matter what happens, she'll always be by his side. It heals his troubled mind and tired soul.

* * *

He likes to walk. Always has. So, every now and then, acutally whenever Fury gives him a permission, he takes a long walk through the city. Somehow, he always ends up in Brooklyn. But it's really not that surprising when you think about it. Before he joined the army, he never did get out of Brooklyn.

_I'm just a kid from Brooklyn._

Brooklyn helds every single memory of Steve's life. He has a lot of bad memories of Brooklyn. But yet, he only ever thinks of the good ones. Like the first time he met Bucky. Or how he recieved his first kiss from the butcher's rebellious daughter. He thinks of his parents' and how they used to dance at night thinking their son is asleep. He still knows his way around the streets of his youth by heart.

Steve was a hero once. To the people who know the truth about him being alive, he still is a hero. But actually, Steve really is just a kid from Brooklyn. He's reminded of that everytime he sits in the park and watches as people pass by without ever noticing him. Steve realizes some things never change and that makes him glad. No matter how strange it sounds, he truly feels peace while there. He feels like he belongs. He's home. Brooklyn is home.

* * *

Steve goes to visit his parents' graves every Sunday. He's really surprised when he finds out their graves are still in the same place. He's glad he can go see them whenever he wants and needs. He's even been to Peggy's grave. Saying goodbye to her gives him a closure he much needs to move on with his life. But, he still needs to pay respect to one important person. And that, he can't.

Steve's not a people's person. Even today, after all he's been through, he still has trouble making friends. Sure, he thinks of the Avengers as his friends, but they're really his teammates firstly. He also has a big problem when it comes to meeting new people. He keeps comparing every single person he meets with his first real friend.

Bucky's been in his life since the day he saved him from some kids who wanted to beat him up. Since that day, Steve can't remember Bucky not being around. Bucky's the one who says it's okay to cry when Steve's mother dies. Even Bucky himself sheds a tear for Mrs. Rogers, the best pie maker in the entire area of Brooklyn, as he fondly calls her. He's there when Steve gets drunk for the first time in his life. He makes sure he gets home safe and even stays the night. He says it's because he couldn't skip the opportunity to tease him about getting drunk, but Steve knows the truth. Steve's the only person who's allowed to call him James.

_James Barnes_. Steve's best friend, protector, teammate, _brother_. It hurts not having somewhere to go to say goodbye to his best friend. It hurts not having a chance to say how grateful he is for having him as his protector and teammate. But most of all, it hurts not having a brother around. A brother who'd tease him often. A brother who'd have his back no matter what. In Steve's mind, Bucky is the true hero. _His hero_.

_That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from the fight. I'm following him._

* * *

_I had a date._

„Hi Peggy..." He quietly says as he places a red rose on her grave. „I'm sorry it took me so long." He sits on the ground and makes himself comfortable. „So... I've heard you've made a name for yourself in the agency after my... Every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent knows who Peggy Carter is. I'm really proud of you." He smiles. „I'm sorry I've missed our date. I'm sorry it took me so much time to even ask you on a date... Can you forgive me?" He awaits for an answer... „You know, you're still the only woman I can talk to for so long." He chuckles when he imagines her rolling her eyes at him. „I really wish we could've had that dance, Peggy."

He stays with her for a few hours. He says a word every now and then but mostly he just keeps quiet. He feels her presence around and he wants to savor this beautiful day with her. It's the least he can give to her. It's the least he can give to himself. They'll have this day instead of that dance. But, when the weather suddenly changes and when the storm warns him it's about to rain, he realizes that's really Peggy's cue. It's time to let go.

„I'll see you again. _Someday_." He smiles towards the sky. And just like she deserves, Steve salutes her for the last time. „_Goodbye, agent Carter_!"


End file.
